Lightning Round: Volume 1

Some albums I sell inspire me to go on and on in the most eloquent way I can, expressing all the deep emotional responses I get from every note plucked and chord strummed.

But they can’t all be zingers.

Because of that, I’m gonna start doing this segment where I take a quick look at  few albums that deserve a mention, but not an essay.

Eagles of Death Metal – Peace Love Death Metal

Going back to my post about album covers, the cover for this album completely grabbed my attention, sucked me in like a tractor beam, and got me to buy it. Of course, working at a retail store gives me the opportunity to sort of stalk an album…see if anyone buys it, what the reaction is, and where to hide it if too many people are interested and I want to buy it.

For those unaware and wondering what the hell a band named what they are named sounds like, lemme clue you in. Josh Homme (Kyuss, Queens of the Stone Age) and Jesse Hughes took a guitar and a drumset and made one of the sleaziest throwback albums, with light grunge romance oozing throughout the journey. The cover of the Stealer Wheel classic “Stuck in the Middle With You” is worth the price of admission.

Isis -In the Absence of Truth

Isis is an instrumental prog-rock band from LA by way of Boston, and they like to crank up the sludge. Little to no lyrics, little to no filler, and little to no longevity in my ears. I like the band, I do, I just can’t dig it on the album. They are pretty awesome live, and while I do appreciate concept albums (this one being about Hassan-i Sabbath) the band never seems to get anywhere for me. I’ve tried a few albums and still nothing. Sorry, guys! I hope whoever bought it from me enjoys it.

Mushroomhead – Savior Sorrow

If this was the first Mushroomhead album, I’d have a lot to write about. But it’s not, so I don’t. Mushroomhead is a sort of niche band that is slightly past its time. Back when Slipknot and Motogrator and other 9-piece bands with jumpsuits and masks came out, these guys seemed fresh and different. When their charismatic lead singer left, and they put out this album with his replacement, the flaws became painfully obvious. Although they put on an excellent live show at The Pound (R.I.P.) in SF many moons ago, and I still don’t know how they fit all those bastards on that stage, the joke has run its course and it’s no longer funny.

Danko Jones – Sleep Is the Enemy

I read an interview with Swedish god-metaler Mike Akerfeldt (Opeth) about his favorite bands at the moment, and he mentioned this Canadian party band as one he loved and was anticipating seeing live. That’s all the advice I needed so I grabbed it during on of my many buying splurges and popped it in when I got home.

And I never listened to it again.

It’s like an AC/DC archetype done wrong: It’s all about waking up late, drinking til dawn, and rockin’ all night long. There’s nothing wrong with that, but that doesn’t grab me anymore and it doesn’t work for me in this day and age. Once you have bands like Mars Volta and Mastodon that put so much thought into the structure of their music, it’s hard for me to devolve back into this simple type of music. It has it’s place, no doubt, just not in my brain…not anymore. Not a single song eclipses the staggering 3:30 mark, and the power chord usage would make Blink-182 blush. Lines like “You got a sweet tooth and I’m your chocolate bar” make me feel like Miley Cyrus broke into this band’s studio and rewrote his lyrics and the singer didn’t give a shit.

The Devil is never a maker. The less that you give, you’re a taker

Until the end of time, men and women will argue and fight over which version of Black Sabbath is the best. Is it the cocaine and horror fueled Ozzy Osbourne of the 70’s? The riffs, the sound, the movement that was Black Sabbath in their heyday…it’s hard to compete with that.

But when Heaven and Hell came out in 1980, it was like a breath of fresh air into a stale music industry, and a chance at new heights for a band that looked like the end was totally nigh. I love Ozzy, but the man is not a singer. He is a frontman, through and through, and performs his ass off and has for a quarter-century, but his pipes are nothing compared to most of his ilk, especially Sir Dio.

But let’s be honest with ourselves. It doesn’t matter which singer you like better, because Sabbath is and will always be Tony Iommi. This man is singlehandedly responsible for heavy metal as a movement. His guitar playing and creativity molded every band since. The man had the tips of his middle and ring finger ripped of when he was 17 and THEN made the music we worship today. Take that, Fall Out Boy.

Back to the album at ear…er..hand, most of my friends and family think they know Black Sabbath, but until you give this disc a spin, you don’t know the full story. “Neon Knights”, “Die Young”, and of course “Heaven and Hell”, really define the band as much as “Iron Man.” Give the little elf man a chance!

Here’s lookin’ at you, Dio

Sadly, after I finished writing this, I found out that Dio has been diagnosed with stomach cancer. The man is 67 and is a legend. I’ve had the chance to see him once when I was in high school. It was a superb line-up of Motorhead, followed by Dio, headlined by Iron Maiden. All for about 20 bucks in Concord. My metal heart grew three times the size that day.

Bright light, bright light!

This is a Mogwai post.

Get it?

Nevermind…

So, Happy Songs for Happy People. Ever heard it? If not, stop reading and go buy it. The first track, alone, is worth the purchase and worth my writing.

“Hunted by a Freak” may go down as one the best instrumentals of the decade. Yes, there is a guy singing into a crazy vocal box thing, but the lyrics are indecipherable and a thing of internet legend. The pure style this album oozes fills your ears like wax, and is just as sticky. Before listening to Mogwai I thought this type of music was ultimately unfulfillable and unable to compete with the musical world, given the lack of lyrics and free-form wankery that throbs throughout. Knowing what I know now, and seeing what I’ve seen live, I take it all back.

Honestly, this album is not amazing. I know, I know, I told you to buy it already.

It has a few excellent songs, and when you hear “Killing all the Flies” live and the sudden orgasm of clusterfucked chords warbles through their amps and into the sky, your life may very well change. Coachella provided the space and environment for these guys to really show the power of this style and I thank Jebus they did.

Mogwai really strikes that happy medium for me that bands like Sigur Ros and Appleseed Cast just can’t seem to get to: ambiance with power. I enjoy all the post-rock shoegazing you can throw at me, but if there isn’t a release of that emotion, it feels wasted. With Mogwai, I know that when a track starts off slow, that it’s going to get somewhere and tell me a story. A story without words. That’s pretty awesome.

Enjoy the video!

R.S.V.P. please…for the death of thee

A viking warrior has a moment of clarity…the kind of clarity that brings consequences. He sees his woman, his kingdom, and his throne all being soiled by the same man. He must destroy this intruder, so he summons his steed to take him back home, where vengeance can reign supreme. When he arrives, a foot is used to open the door and an axe is used to cleave the antagonist right in half.

This is the sort of visual stimulation you get while attending a Dethklok concert. The cartoon band from Adult Swim’s “Metalocalypse” show has come to life in the form of a brutal and devastatingly legitimate contender in the metal universe. While playing their Guitar Hero single “Thunderhorse”, the sex, blood, and imagery described above all comes to life on a gigantic screen behind the band. Similar videos play for each and every song, including some in between songs to give the band a breather and the crowd something to laugh about.

Last night at the Hollywood Palladium, Dethklok and fellow masters Mastodon took what could have been just another California metal show and really displayed their technical prowess to some hungry fans. Openers High on Fire and Converge did the job of filling an undercard for a Metalweight Title Fight, but neither band can really produce the reaction the headliners received, especially at a sold-out show that started before 7:00. The stoner-metal and hardcore acts have a strong following, but not in the cartoon metal world and that’s who really showed up last night.

Mastodon has been supporting their most recent album “Crack the Skye” and have been doing it for months, with mucho gusto. I recall seeing them last June in Tennessee and they were playing cuts off of it before the tracks even had names. So a year and a half later, the fact that these guys still give it their all in support of their new baby is nice to see, especially leaving enough room on the end of the set list to bust out some old favorites. As usual, drummer Brann Dailor is the eye-magnet for the night, leaving you wondering if there if there is anyone else even close to his skill level at this stage in his career.

It was a night for drummers, as true metal journeyman Gene Hoglan was behind the kit for Brendon Small’s Dethklok. For those unaware, Hoglan’s nickname is “The Atomic Clock” due to his insane ability to keep time, to add triple-kicks, and play at tempos that would confuse other drummers like a blind kid at an art gallery. The man has done it all and played with some of the best musicians available, giving Dethklok that much more credibility just by playing this stuff live.

That’s the beauty of Dethklok: simplicity done complicated. The riffs are your standard metal riffs, filled with chugs and squeels, but the solos are pulse-pounding and ultimately the climax of every song. Current metal acts seem to have forgotten the art of solos, whereas these songs specifically leave gigantic openings for solos to come barreling out of. Also, the fact that their playing has to match up with a running screen behind them is a big effort.

The stand-out tunes were “Birthday Dethday” and “Murmaider”, with the latter being a tale of mermaid murder. The screen accompanying that song showed a gigantic red mermaid creature beheading and dismembering a whole cavalcade of watery creatures, while blood soaked the screen and the mosh pit got bigger. Even better, the 1:14 track ‘Duncan hills Coffee Jingle” made an appearance to many fans delight, as it’s sort of a silly song with a ridiculously catchy solo.

For those that missed it, apologies are in order as it was an awesome show, and while there is a repeat tonight in the same venue, it, too, has been sold out.

We interrupt your regular internet surfing

First, sorry for the delay. I sudden job opportunity has presented itself and I’ve been on it with mucho gusto.

Second, tonight I will be seeing southern metal gods Mastodon and cartoon masters Dethklok in Hollywood. My girlfriend and I go on awesome dates.

Third, I do have to admit a stall due to lack of enthusiasm of some of the albums I’m selling. I haven’t come up with a remedy just yet, but I will, and the writing shall soon commence.

I’ll come back after the show and give a review, either tonight or tomorrow.

Because the drugs never work, they’re gonna give you a smirk, they got methods of keeping you clean

My Chemical Romance.

Oh man.

It’s 2004 and music sucks. The reins of popular culture are firmly in the grasp of the likes of Avril Lavigne, Green Day, and Maroon 5. High school is over, but for others it was just starting, which explains why shitty music still reigns supreme.

Out of nowhere, a mess of a band called “My Chemical Romance” bursts into everyone’s ears with the sinfully catchy “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” and the pop-punk-poop world is immediately shifted.

I like this band, I do, at least in principle. I’m amazed when bands with such young embers find the lifesource of a hit song and tap into it. They aren’t bad musicians, by any means, but they are better than most of their ilk, I’d say.

They managed to put out three albums in a relatively short period of time, going from ‘Who?” to “OH MY GOD!” to “Enough already” in just a few years. The first was subtle, promising, but ultimately amateur. The second, and most popular, cemented their place in their genre of choice.

Their third album is the one I’ll be discussing, as it’s the next in line of albums to leave my domain.

A concept album is a tough thing to create. It takes foresight, it takes nuance, and it collapses the second the narrative string gets cut in order to make time for a catchy single. “The Black Parade” is not a bad album, and for their age, it’s promising to think that bands of this generation understand their roots when making new tunes. But knowing where ya came from doesn’t mean just doing that will suffice.

Realize that, as a musician, every single thought you have that even feels remotely unique…is not. It’s been thought up a thousand times by a thousand people, some better than you and some not. So going for the safe route of picking the best part of your favorite bands growing up and duplicating the hooks and octaves to achieve the same feeling is full of fail.

The ballad “Cancer” sounds like REO fucking Speedwagon. We don’t need another REO Speedwagon. One was enough.

The Queen sound, with a Brian May impression for each guitar solo. The Pink Floyd fan in me ached at the blatant and watered down parts of “The Wall” that starts the album.

The album does have high spots, mostly in the areas where the high-ideas took a step down and the amps took a step up. When they stick to what they are good at, they represent all the good things said about them.

Seeing as how I’m not really buying albums anymore, I think I’m done with this band on an album basis, although a live performance could win me over.

In school I don’t concentrate…and sex is kinda fun, but just another one of all the empty ways of using up the day

Here we are with another Porcupine Tree album. This monstrous monolith, entitled Fear of a Blank Planet, is another exercise in a one-song sweeping epic about an important part of today’s social psyche. I’ve had the pleasure of hearing the entire thing played live at the Warfield in San Francisco a few years ago, and it’s one of my favorite shows at that venue.

I’ll let main man Steven Wilson break down the idea behind this behemoth album.

“Unfortunately this whole culture we live in promotes this idea that if you’re somehow insignificant then you’re worthless. If you’re somehow not successful, if you’re not popular, if you’re not famous, if you’re not a celebrity, you are somehow worthless. And the only way to become famous if you are that piece of shit on someone’s shoe is to go into a school and blow 25 of your classmates away. Instant fame! That’s fucked up. That’s what’s wrong with the world right now.”

I’m constantly impressed by Wilson’s take on the world, and more impressed that a man decades from his youth is still so connected to the trials and tribulations of today’s kids. But when you discuss the human basics of love, sex, fear, growth, and family, you tend to cover just about everyone.

The album starts of with a bang, giving the most straight-forward down-tuned guitarfest PT has to offer. The lyrics detail the boredom of a teenager, fed up with his sociable friends and their sheep-like quality. Next, “My Ashes” is as close to writing your own eulogy as you can get. The great line of “When my mother and father gave me their problems I accepted them all” always resonated, as you can really feel his anguish being a quiet, sensitive, and respectful son, taking on his family’s problems while attempting to figure out his own bullshit.

The next track, an 18 minute mammoth entitled “Anesthetize”, flows from the slow, piano driven sensibility of the disconnected youth, but deceptively launches into a fantastic near call-and-answer between the vocals and guitars. Here’s a video clip, taken about six minutes into the song, right before the awesome breakdown transformation into the next part of the song.

He tackles MTV and the pharmacy drug induced culture we have. He handles these issues well, not coming off as a prophet or preacher, but as someone that knows what it is like to be told a pill will make you a better person.

The opening stanza of “Sentimental” is brilliant.

I never wanna be old

And I don’t want dependents

It’s no fun to be told

That you can’t blame your parents anymore.

Too much music is obsessed with youth and the idea of growing old is rarely explored, only used when describing death or decay. I enjoy listening to artists that think deeply about the aging process from an emotional standpoint, discussing what is okay and not okay to think when your age hits a certain number.

The final two songs give us the finale of this young masculine emotional roller coaster. Fed up with being asked how school and life is going, he rebels and tries desperately to forget about “her”…going as far as removing her face from pictures anbd running away. He says he’ll forget about her “in a thousand years…or maybe a week.”

The final song, “Sleep Together”, caught me off guard the first time I heard it. After all of that power and emotion, a tune where he basically says let’s do it, let’s get all of our angst out on each other and move on with our lives, it struck me as immature. The music is slightly funky, giving a near Prince/metal vibe to the haunting vocals. The chorus kicks in with “Let’s sleep together right now/Relieve the pressures somehow/Switch off the future right now/Let’s leave forever.”

The more I listen to it, the more I see it in a different view. Remember the end of Fight Club? It’s been out for a decade, so I’m not spoiling anything by saying everything blows up at the end. And when Tyler/Jack is holding hands with Marla, it’s a romantic moment. All the shit and all the pain and everything led up to this very cathartic moment where the world as they knew it was pretty much over (or starting over, depending on how you see it), yet that scene is definitely romantic. The ability to display romance in an otherwise insane universe sometimes empowers the sexual themes, as they are the only source of love or good in a dark environment.

I could write about this band all day, and seeing as how I have another 10 albums or so of theirs to sell, I’ll be back in no time.